The Teeth I Gave It

Sitting in discomfort long enough to realize the things I feared were the things I avoided.

It feels uncomfortable.
It feels exhausting.
It feels infuriating.

I don’t know if it’s a fine line.
Probably not.

But it feels like one.

Trying to decide if this moment requires soothing.

Maybe step back for a minute.
Catch your breath.

Or…

Maybe this is the moment that requires the feeling.
All of it.

And for it not to be wrong.

Not life or death.
Not bodily harm.

Just finally being…uncomfortable.

Let’s be honest.
If it wasn’t uncomfortable, it would already be done.
It wouldn’t still be here.

Those things in life I gave sharp teeth to…
And tied to a rope.

Hoping they would stay at the far end of it.
Until one day they would magically untether themselves.

Or…

Until I dealt with them.

The embarrassing part is seeing what I created.

The teeth they had.
The fear they carried.

I gave them the teeth.
I did that.

I brought them into my world.
And just like every mother reminds her kids…
If you brought it in, you can take it out.

If you’re willing to sit in discomfort.
And let the truth speak for itself.
Without stepping in to soothe it.
Or numb it.
Or avoid it.

Just doing what always needed to be done in the first place.
Deal with it.

I’ve felt a lot of anger this week.
My immediate reaction is always that anger is a bad emotion.

I’ve felt a lot of frustration this week.
My immediate reaction is always that frustration is a bad emotion.

Then I start trying to figure out how to get myself “back on track.”

Today I let that loop go.
I just sat with everything I was feeling about the things I have to deal with.

And interestingly enough…
Once I dealt with them…
The feeling lifted on its own.

Relief.